“I may have had more lovers than you, and I may take my
clothes off for countless women, but you are the only one who can strip me
bare.”
Do you ever stop loving someone just because
they’re gone? Five years ago Ryan Pierce disappeared from Alana Remington’s
life without leaving so much as a post-it note behind. He was the one she gave
her heart to, her soul to and her virginity to.
So imagine her surprise when she finds him dancing at one of NYC’s
hottest male reviews as Jack the Stripper.
Ryan never stopped loving Alana, and now that she
serendipitously dropped back into his life, he’s vowed never to lose her
again. But being together has its costs,
and challenges Alana isn’t sure she can handle.
She finally has Ryan back; but how in the world is
she supposed to share the love of her life with half of the women in New York
City?
“Nothing’s
wrong,” I try to pull his lips back to mine, but his head won’t budge. He just
stares down at me with a forceful glare.
Resigned, I
ball my fists over my eyes and sigh. “What do you want me to tell you? I’m
insecure? I’m trying not to think of all the women you have all over you? Or of
all the women you’ve had?”
“You’ve been
with other people?”
“One other
person Ryan. One other person besides you, and it was a disaster. I don’t even
think it counts.”
“What do you
mean?” he asks confused.
We never did
dredge up my intimacy issues or talk about my sexual past, if you could even
call it that. One boy my sophomore year of college, the all around nice guy I
could never pull the trigger with. Even though I tried, desperately. I couldn’t
muster up enough courage to go through with it. I was so messed up after Ryan;
I had trouble letting anyone in.
Sexually
that is.
We’d start
but never finish. And the one time it
got to the point of penetration I absolutely freaked. We stopped speaking after
that and I’ve sworn off men ever since.
“Intimacy
was hard for me,” I tell him, “because I was always afraid I’d wake up, and who
ever I spent the night with would be gone. I didn’t want to hurt like that
again,” I look away from him. This conversation sucks. I don’t want to look
weak. It’s a character flaw imbedded by my father. Remington’s aren’t weak.
They don’t show emotion. They don’t even have emotions.
I’m not a
very good Remington.
“Alana,” he
coos, and I want to slap him. Maybe kiss him, “I didn’t know.”
“I didn’t
want you to know.”
“You have to
talk to me.”
“Talking
isn’t my problem, Ryan.”
Thinking is.
“You didn’t
tell me,” he stipulates, “Do you really think I’m not going to be here in the
morning?”
I shrug,
because for all intents and purposes I do believe he’ll be here tomorrow, but
there’s still a hurt, eighteen year old girl inside me who needs to come to
terms with what happened. That Ryan didn’t leave because he wanted to. He made
a choice that affected more than just us. And it hurt us both equally the same.
“I don’t want
to disappoint you,” I mumble, and now I’m beat red. I’m pretty sure when Emily
told me to vulnerable in Ryan’s arms, she didn’t mean like this.
“Alana, you
could never disappoint me,” he shifts while still on top of me, “I may have had
more lovers than you, and I may take my clothes off for countless women, but
you are the only one who can strip me bare.”
Playlist- (Still in progress)
Mirrors- Justin Timberlake
Mirrors- Justin Timberlake
Sorry- Buckcherry
Muse- Madness
Run- Leona Lewis
I Know You Want Me- Pitbull
Troublemaker- Olly Murs feat. Flo Rida
What You Wanted- OneRepublic
Gimme More- Britney
(I Just) Died in You Arms Tonight (Club Remix)- Cutting
Crew
Counting Stars- OneRepublic
Author Bio-
Marissa Carmel has loved writing ever since a young age. She
has a duel degree in History and Political Science, but took as many creative
writing classes in college as she could. She spent most of her twenties
bartending, which is where she met her husband and a multitude of interesting
people. When she’s not reading or writing, she’s hanging out with her family,
experimenting in her kitchen or doing yoga on the living room floor.
Links-
GoodReads:
http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/5211765.Marissa_Carmel
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Marissa-Carmel/e/B005OKFXXU/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_2?qid=1361243544&sr=8-2
Twitter: https://twitter.com/marissacarmel
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/marissa.carmel.5
Author pg:
https://www.facebook.com/authormarissacarmel?ref=hl
Web/Blog: http://marissacarmel.com/
Pinterest-
http://pinterest.com/marissacarmel/
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